


Drifting Apart

by FiliKiliThorinForever



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit/Pacific Rim crossover
Genre: Angst, Drifting, F/M, Ghost Drifting, Hurt/Comfort, fili!hurt, minor blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 11:12:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2066022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiliKiliThorinForever/pseuds/FiliKiliThorinForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Potatochutneys fic "Blind Pilots".</p><p>The world's going to hell and Kaiju attacks are becoming more frequent. So when tomorrow could be the last day on earth shouldn't family stick together? That's what Fili thought, but when his family ignore him when he returns to base Fili decides its time to move on and live what could be his final days the way he wants. </p><p>So what's the problem? Well when his family realise what they've done it might just be too late to right their wrongs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drifting Apart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Potatochutney](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potatochutney/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Blind Pilots](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1972938) by [Potatochutney](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potatochutney/pseuds/Potatochutney). 



**A/N: Hello everyone! So first off, this was (as I'm sure you've already read) inspired by Potatochutney's fic Blind Pilot's. Not 100% sure where this idea came from but I'm a huge Fili angst fan (there isn't enough out there!) so I thought I'd write this to add to the tiny pool. If I'm honest I didn't really have a choice, I'm pretty sure Bragi ditched Asgard and took refuge in my brain seeing as Dean is busy, I haven't been able to focus and he's made doing assignments incredibly difficult -.- So after several hours I've finished it and thought I'd get it out there so I can focus on my Hobbit story instead.**

**Thanks to Potatochutney for the inspiration! I hope you don't mind :)**

**Enjoy!**

 

* * *

 

A week. It had been a week since Fíli had returned to base, had caught Kíli in bed with Tauriel and had taken Frodo to see Beorn. It had been a week and not once had any of his family come to see him since he’d come back to base. The only reason he’d left was because he needed time to adjust to what had happened to them in the latest Kaiju attack, the one where he’d almost lost his brother. It had been touch and go for a while, but he could see how attached Tauriel had become to Kíli that he knew she’d look after him and he’d only be in the way.

And clearly he’d been correct.

He didn’t blame them really. The world was going to hell so it was only natural that his family spent time with those they loved. Kíli had Tauriel, Dís had Dwalin, his honorary uncle and soon to be step father if they kept going the way they were (not that he’d deny his mother happiness) and Thorin had Bilbo and Frodo. But Fíli, Fíli had spent the majority of his life training to be the best pilot he could possibly be in favour of starting a relationship; after all they only led to heartbreak in his line of work so why put himself through it willingly?

But if the world was going to hell, then why hadn’t his family come to see him?

Fíli slipped quietly down the corridor and froze when carefree laughter filtered from the room not two doors away. He crept along quietly and hid behind one of the metal wings that stuck out from the door to peer unseen into the room. There was Tauriel, lying on her back on the bed sideways, and Kíli sprawled the same way next to her. Tauriel seemed to be telling her new love a story, to which Kíli laughed freely, linking their hands together as he shook with amusement.

The blond pilot couldn’t help but feel a surge of sadness; it had been so long since he’d heard his brother laugh like that, even longer since he’d been the one to put the same free smile on his face. Full of the feeling of worthlessness he slipped past their doorway towards his own room another two doors down and snuck in before closing the door silently behind him and bolting it shut, missing the question of “did you hear that?” from his brother.

Fíli looked around the tiny room. There was nothing in there to make it personal, nothing to make it his, nothing to call home. It would never be home, for that had been destroyed long ago and the only home he had thought he had left had all brushed him off in favour of the new homes they’d built themselves. He moved to his locker and pulled out his bag, big enough to fit all his clothes and the few meagre belongings that were scattered about his room, like the knives Bofur and Nori had given him when he began learning how to use them as weapons in his time with them. Bofur and Nori, two people he could call family without a doubt, and if his family by blood could find new homes, then so could he. After all spending a week by yourself with only the technicians rebuilding his Jaeger the Knifed Drawstring had definitely given him a reality check; he was no longer a part of the family, only a spare wheel, so it was time to move on, to be with those who respected the importance of friendship and love in these dark times over anything else as they too had lost much since the first Kaiju attacked. Ones who wouldn’t forget him.

He came to the very last item in his room to pack, a fold-up photo frame with four sections. The photo on the left was a photo of his father; he had been Bofur’s partner in the Jaeger call-sign Throwing Knife and had been killed because of a mistake he and Kíli had made, a mistake he had never forgiven himself for. The photo next to it on the right was of him and Kíli when they had become pilots, Fíli ruffling his brothers brown hair with a grin on his face whilst Kíli had one arm around his shoulders, the other trying to fend his brother’s hand off. The photo next to that was of him, Kíli, Dís and Thorin all grinning like loons and it had been taken not long before his father and Uncle were killed. His Uncle, Fíli’s eyes shifted to the final photo in the frame, a sad smile tugging at his lips. He couldn’t remember who’d taken it, only that it was his favourite photo of him and his Uncle Frerin, the pair of them reading together curled up in front of the fire when Fíli was only five years old, days before Kíli had been born. Frerin was the one Fíli took after in hair colour and they’d been thick as thieves for years as they were the only two golden haired males in the Durinson lineage for several generations.

He trailed a finger over his father and Uncles photo’s before slipping them out of their frames, he’d never leave them behind, not the two that had been taken from him far too quickly. He added the two photos to the top of his bag and zipped it shut before slinging it over his shoulder. He opened the door and took one last glance around the room, not for nostalgia’s sake, but to make sure he hadn’t left anything important behind. A bed, a chair, a desk and a half full photo frame on top. He shut the door behind him and walked the opposite direction from whence he’d come.

No he hadn’t left anything important behind at all.

He spent the rest of the day over seeing repairs on his Jaeger, his bag tucked away in his locker so he wouldn’t have to return to his room. The repairs were coming along well, at least another two weeks the head mechanic had told him. Despite his willingness to run away he couldn’t help the sense of relief that washed over him when he learnt that there was a chance he could be put on active duty soon. He’d come in on shifts if need be to ensure he could still fight, and as for his brother, well if any issues arose about him no longer being there he’d make sure to deal with them his way, not giving in to his puppy-eyed brother.

He decided to stay in the entertainment room for the night, waiting until midnight when everyone else would be in bed to sneak out. He’d pressed himself into the couch a few times when people had walked in, hoping they’d leave him alone with the book that was lying opened on his lap unread. Kíli and Tauriel had stumbled in after dinner at one point, Kíli heading to the shelf near the couch to snag a movie, a rare treat for them these days and not once sparing a glance towards the couch, too busy telling the redhead a story. That was fine with Fíli; he’d been ignored all week, his family quite literally walking by him every day so why would this make any difference?

Fíli shook his head of the thoughts and looked to the clock. 11:50pm, well it was now or never he guessed. He uncovered his bag from the cushions he’d been leaning on all evening and slug the strap over his shoulder before making his way to the base entrance. Unfortunately he had to stop off at the library in order to return his room key. He just planned to leave it on the desk, knowing that whoever was in charge would sort it out. It was dark in there and the only lighting provided was by the full moon that was out for the evening.

“Where are you going?”

Fíli jumped at the voice that rang out in the large empty room, slipping a knife from his belt to his hand to be safe. He peered around the dark room, only to jump when a lamp on his right was switched on.

“Gandalf” Fíli said with a sigh. Of course it had to be the base commander who caught him sneaking out. Technically there was a ton of paper work he was meant to do if he wanted to leave but seeing as Gandalf had let him disappear to Bofur and Nori’s without a question a week ago he’d decided that the old codger wouldn’t need him to do them now either.

“Where are you going Fíli?” Gandalf asked again, standing and moving towards the blond before leaning against a table opposite him. “I’m assuming it’s not a midnight stroll as they don’t require a key return nor a bag of belongings.”

Fíli looked away guiltily. He didn’t want to lie to his friend, but he certainly didn’t want his family to know he’d left either.

“What seems to be the trouble lad?” Gandalf asked gently, tilting his head to try and catch his eye.

“I’m moving in with Bofur and Nori.” Fíli said quietly, swallowing heavily.

“You’re leaving us?” Gandalf asked with his brow furrowed.

Fíli shook his head. “No sir, I still plan on being a pilot, but it’s time for me to move on, living wise at least.”

“Whatever for? What of your family?”

Despite his best attempt, Fíli snorted. “My family, sir, have moved on with others. It’s time I did the same.”

Gandalf bowed his head in understanding but Fíli continued on. He wanted someone to know how he felt before he left at least. “Kíli’s got Tauriel, Ma has Dwalin and Thorin has Bilbo and even Frodo for crying out loud. And me? I’ve been left alone by my entire family Gandalf! I’ve been back a week and not once have any of them spoken to me! Just tonight Kíli entered the entertainment room and didn’t bother to look at me, not even once!”

He was surprised to feel several loose tears trickle down his face in his tirade. He wiped them away angrily with the heel of his hand. “I refuse to be somewhere I’m not wanted anymore. At least with Bofur and Nori I was accepted, I was made to feel like I belonged.”

Gandalf walked forwards and placed a gentle hand on Fíli’s shoulder. “I hear you son, and I won’t stop you. I’ll figure out how to work you being off base once your Jaeger’s repaired, but for now go be with your friends.” He gave Fíli a gentle smile, who returned it with a gratefully.

“Thank you Gandalf.” He murmured, before walking towards the door. He stopped after a couple of steps, eyes screwed shut tight as his mind forced him to ghost drift yet again. He’d felt the niggling build up behind his eyes not moments before and had quickly selected a handful of thoughts he wanted his brother to see: him eating breakfast, him reading, him talking to a mechanic, all mundane things and nothing that could reveal what he was planning on doing. He’d gotten good in training his mind to only show Kíli the images he wanted to see since the ghost drifting began, unfortunately his brother had no control over his own and flashes that Fíli wished he could bleach from his mind would always come through. At least his brother was using protection.

“Everything alright Fíli?” Gandalf asked in concern when he’d noticed the pilot had stopped suddenly.

“Actually Gandalf,” Fíli said slowly, turning to face the old man. “You wouldn’t by chance know how to stop someone from ghost drifting would you? Ever since Kíli was hurt I’ve been doing it, and I know Bofur does as well. Not too sure about Nori but I’m guessing he gets something like it.”

Gandalf scratched his chin thoughtfully. “There is a theory between a few psychologists who specialise in Jaeger pilot’s minds, that the effect of ghost drifting can be lessened and possibly reduced if the remaining pilot were to drift with someone else who is compatible.”

“Why have I never heard of this before?” Fíli asked curiously.

“Because unfortunately when a Jaeger is attacked and damaged both pilots are generally killed, and there has never been a test of the theory for fear it could drive the drifters mad. I didn’t realise Bofur was still suffering from it…” Gandalf said, finishing thoughtfully.

“So all I have to do is find someone else drift compatible to see if the theory works.” Fíli said with a huff, “Great.”

“Actually,” Gandalf said with a glint in his eye, “you may already know someone compatible with you.”

“Who?”

“Bofur and Nori. They drifted with your father and Uncle, so there is a slim possibility that you could drift with either of them.”

Fíli looked at Gandalf with wide eyes. “I-I’ll tell them Gandalf, thank you!” he said excitedly before racing out of the library towards the exit, thrilled by the prospect of helping not just himself but his friends as well.

 

* * *

 

And tell them Fíli did. Both were a little unsure at first but agreed that for Bofur at least it was better than sitting around waiting for the next Kaiju attack, and if they went mad, well then that was that and there would be nothing they could do about it, except perhaps wait for their end in a less subdued manner.

“Are you sure about this Fíli?” Bofur asked quietly over a glass of whiskey, “are you sure you don’t want to wait and see if Kíli gets cleared for active service?”

“Bofur, his leg was damaged to the point where they thought they’d have to amputate. Even if they declared him medically fit it would be by some miracle that he’d be allowed to pilot again.” Fíli said quietly before looking at his friend pleadingly.

“Please Bofur, you know what it’s like to ghost drift and I don’t want to do it anymore! If there’s the chance of me escaping it and my family then I’ll take it.”

“Fíli,” Nori said sternly as he laid a hand on Fíli’s shoulder “they’re your family-”

“Who don’t want anything to do with me because if they did they would have at least spoken to me once since I returned Nori, but they didn’t. I just- I can’t take it anymore.” Fíli said quietly.

Bofur looked at the blond sadly. “Alright laddy, we’ll come with ya. But if it doesn’t work don’t do anything stupid you hear me? Your family might have forgotten about you right now but I haven’t.”

Fíli nodded, a sad smile gracing his lips as he clapped his friends on the shoulders before pulling out his knives so he could continue his lessons with Nori.

 

* * *

 

They returned to base the next night under the cover of darkness, Fíli having called ahead to let Gandalf know that Bofur had agreed to try. Gandalf and Ori met them in the library and Nori immediately went to hug his younger brother.

“You think this will work?” Nori asked as they followed Gandalf to the training rooms.

“I wish I had an answer but I have no idea.” Ori replied honestly, watching as Gandalf helped Fíli and Bofur into their suits.

Fíli and Bofur both stepped up to the machines and allowed Gandalf and Ori to hook them up.

“Ori,” Fíli said in a quiet voice “no matter what happens, NO ONE is to know about this. Everything that happens tonight stays between us unless Gandalf or I tell you otherwise ok?”

Ori looked hesitant but nodded at the glare Fíli gave him.

“Thanks buddy.” Fíli whispered.

 

* * *

 

To Fíli’s and Bofur’s relief they were compatible, the neural handshake was successful and drifting was for the most part seamless, Bofur’s occasional drops out of drifting were expected after being away from the technology for so long. They returned in secret to base every night to train together under Gandalf’s, Ori and Nori’s watchful eyes, not wanting anyone else to know what they were up to just yet. Occasionally Fíli would stay in the guest’s quarters (he refused to return to his own even though they were vacant per Gandalf’s instructions for when he was put back on active duty) when he had ideas he wanted to discuss with the mechanics the next day, such as modifications he wanted made after his last experience with the Kaiju’s. Gandalf approved of the suggestions that made; having the ability to switch either the audio or the microphones off with voice protocols and a disk with a high concentrate of morphine placed on the spine so that if they were to be injured they could carry on fighting without the pain, a risky idea but one Fíli was adamant on; he didn’t want to be killed because of the pain from a broken arm.

Two weeks later the Knifed Drawstring was repaired and ready to go with all the requested modifications. Gandalf had insisted Fíli and Bofur remain on base as there had been an increase in activity in the breach and he wanted the pair of them to be the ones next deployed, after all they had proven themselves worthy partners and trusted each other completely. Nori had joined them on base as well, insisting that he had to be there to watch over his friends and help them out if need be.

The three had been celebrating in the bar the fact that neither Fíli nor Bofur had ghost drifted since their first drift together when Ori came racing into the room.

“Gandalf wants you to suit up.” Ori panted, a hand on his chest as he tried to steady his breathing.

“What have we got?” Nori asked as they all scrambled to the suits bay, no alarms had sounded yet to let them know there was a Kaiju about to leave the breach.

“According to the readings we’ve got an incoming category 3.” Ori said stepping backwards to allow the technicians to attach the suits to the pilots.

Gandalf strode into the room just as Fíli and Bofur got the final touches to their suits.

“You boys ready?” He asked.

Fíli and Bofur nodded simultaneously. “Yes sir we’re good to go.” Fíli said clapping Bofur on the shoulder.

“Alright then. We’ll deploy you with Roaming Stallion as backup just to be safe; Eowyn and Eomer are suiting up as we speak. It’s your first mission together so stay focused and do us proud.” Gandalf said firmly.

The pilots nodded and climbed up to the Jaeger head to get hooked in. Fíli stopped at the entrance and patted the metal softly. “Hey big guy, I’ve got a new pilot but he’s just as good as my last one. Let’s show these bastards whose boss.” He whispered before climbing into the hull.

 

* * *

 

“We used to go swimming there all the -”

_“Breach Active. Category three emerging.”_

“ _Attention all personnel, we have a category three Kaiju, code name Goblin. Jaegers Knifed Drawstring and Roaming Stallion are on route to intercept. Maintenance crews report to stations_.” Gandalf’s voice instructed over the speakers.

Kíli bolted upright in surprise at the name of his Jaeger. “What the hell?” He said bewildered.

“You knew Knifed Drawstring had its repairs completed two days ago.” Tauriel said soothingly as she ran her fingers through Kíli’s hair from her place on the bed.

Kíli shook his head and climbed out of bed. “It’s not that Tauriel; it’s the fact that he’s been deployed. He’s not supposed to be out there until I’ve been given the all clear. Fíli and I are the only ones who know how to pilot him and they can’t have found new pilots and trained them in him already.”

He dragged the computer on his desk from sleep mode and accessed the files that would tell him which pilots had been deployed.

“You’ll probably find -” Tauriel began, only to be cut of when Kíli swore in shock.

“SHIT! Shit shit SHIT! It’s wrong it’s got to be wrong!” He cursed, pressing frantically at the screen.

Tauriel sat upright and moved towards him. “What is it?”

“It’s Fíli! It’s Fíli and Bofur in the Jaeger! What the hell?! The computer has got to be wrong! I need to get to the control room!” Kíli said in shock, pushing himself away from the desk and hurling himself out the door towards the control room as quickly as he could with his crippled leg. He skidded to a halt in front of his brother’s room and flung the door open, praying his brother would be inside fast asleep.

His heart plummeted.

The room was completely empty, the only thing remaining was a photo frame he had given his brother when they became pilots; the photos of their father and uncle were the only two that were missing.

“No” he whispered in horror, before hurtling back down the corridor towards the control room.

Kíli and Tauriel burst into the control room at the exact same time as Dís, Dwalin, Thorin and Bilbo.

“Gandalf! What the hell is going on -”

“Someone’s entered the wrong information -”

“Why the hell would the computer say that Fíli -”

“ENOUGH!” Gandalf roared; silencing the three Durin’s immediately before turning back to the computers.

 _“Goblin’s on its way.”_ Fíli reported, his voice echoing through the near silent control room. _“You guys seeing this?! He’s an ugly fucker.”_

 _“Aren’t they all?”_ Bofur asked his partner in amusement.

“Gandalf!” Kíli yelled, dragging their commander’s attention back to him. “Why the hell is Fíli out there? He and Bofur haven’t trained together before!”

“There are plenty of teams on base you could have sent Gandalf so why send my nephew with an ex-pilot?” Thorin asked furiously.

Gandalf drew himself up to his full height and glared and the six of them. “Questioning me on what pilots I send out is not a wise move Thorin so I suggest you hold your tongue.” He thundered before turning to Kíli. “And you, your brother has been training with Bofur for the past two weeks in order to get back into the field. They discovered they were compatible and have been using their time to the best of their advantage. I will not turn away worthy teams who ask to be deployed.”

Kíli gaped at the man before surging forwards for a microphone. “Fíli! Fíli what the hell do you think you’re doing?” He yelled.

 _“Waiting for a Kaiju last I checked.”_ Fíli snapped back.

“You’re not supposed to be out there! Especially not with another pilot!” Kíli roared furiously.

_“Well what else was I supposed to do Kíli? Be like you and find the first girl I saw and fuck her five ways till Sunday?_

“Don’t talk about Tauriel like that!” Kíli snapped.

 _“You’re injured Kíli! I wasn’t going to sit around on my ass waiting for you to get better when you’ve got someone else you want to spend time with.”_ Fíli shot back angrily.

Kíli looked at the screen above him that had video feed of the two pilots, his chest tightening at the furious look marring his older brother’s face. “Me being injured meant you were here! Meant you were safe!” He whispered tearfully.

_“Yeah well maybe if someone in our family bothered to talk to me just once after I returned to base three weeks ago then I wouldn’t be here. But you didn’t so I moved on, just like you all did.”_

“I didn’t-”

_“This conversation’s over.”_

“I didn’t-”

_“Computer, cut audio from base, Fíli only.”_

_“Request granted.”_

 

* * *

 

Fíli heaved a sigh of relief when his brother’s voice cut out.

“He’s still going you know.” Bofur said in amusement, “he’s pretty pissed- never mind I think he just got dragged from the mic.”

Fíli smirked at his partner, knowing full well the microphones were still working so the control room would hear everything. “Serves them right, they’ve ignored me for the past three weeks and now it’s their turn.”

 _“Focus boys, put the personal dramas aside would you? Goblins almost clear.”_ Eomer’s voice requested through their ear pieces.

“Roger. Get into position Roaming Stallion, let’s take ‘im down.” Bofur replied.

The moment Goblin was clear the Jaegers attacked, Knifed Drawstring at the front and Roaming stallion at the back. Fíli couldn’t help but think that Goblin was probably the ugliest Kaiju he’d ever seen; it was a motley slime green, ridiculously round with great bulbous eyes in what he assumed was meant to be the face, the only way he could tell was there was what looked to be a great sack hanging below a gaping hole which appeared to be its mouth. And aside from the lethal looking claws and blistering skin it had a tail that petered off into a sharp point.

Fíli and Bofur worked together flawlessly, blocking off the assaults but not quiet managing to cut through the skin as their weapons just seemed to bounce right off.

 _“We can’t pierce the hide back here. You boys having any luck?”_ Eowyn asked.

“We’ve got the same problem here.” Fíli grunted as they blocked another hit from the Kaiju.

 _“Alright I’m going to activate the canon, see if I can’t blast some shit outta this thing!”_ Eomer replied.

Everything went downhill the moment Eomer fired the canon. The Kaiju turned around roaring in fury in order to go for Roaming Stallion, Fíli and Bofur lifting their right arms in order to bring their sword down into the wound that had been created when Bofur suddenly had a flashback of doing a similar move with Víli years ago and suddenly fell out of the drift.

“Bofur? BOFUR! Shit! Computer, administer morphine, Fíli only. Bofur stay outta drift; don’t join back up until its safe!” Fíli yelled as the morphine device injected straight into his spine, the high concentration quickly taking effect. He knew the morphine would keep him going if anything went wrong when he next attacked, he refused to let himself be killed because of an injury when he was fighting alone. He swung his arm and brought the sword down heavily into the Kaiju's injury, and the roar that it let out left Fíli satisfied he’d done some damage.

What he wasn’t expecting was the Kaiju’s tail to whip backwards and stab straight into the Jaeger, nor the tip to embed itself in his stomach. Fíli let out a cry of pain as he looked down quickly before making the Jaeger hold the sword with both hands and slice upwards into the tail, and to his relief the Kaiju retracted its tail immediately the moment the blade buried itself into the fleshy underside.

“He’s unprotected underneath. We need to aim lower.” Fíli gasped as he tasted blood in his mouth.

Bofur shook his head to get rid of the ghost drift, only to have his eyes widen in shock when he saw the red stain that was quickly forming on Fíli’s suit. “Fíli?! Shit!” he said frantically as he initiated a neural handshake and re-joined the drift.

 _“Neural handshake successful. Drift active.”_ The computer informed them cheerily.

“I’m ok Bofur. Let’s take this bastard down.” Fíli said weakly. Despite the morphine it felt as though there was a fire building up around his injury, but he refused to succumb to the darkness he could feel lingering without taking Goblin down first. He took as deep a breath as he could and nodded to his partner.

“Let’s do this.”

 

* * *

 

Kíli, Dís and Thorin gathered around the computer monitor after Dwalin was satisfied Kíli wouldn’t yell into the microphone again. They watched the blond and his pilot work together, whilst cringing at what they were saying.

_“Serves them right, they’ve ignored me for the past three weeks and now it’s their turn.”_

Kíli shook his head in horror at himself, thinking back to when he’d woken from his injury and realised that although he had seen his brother several times, not once had he spoken to him, and he hated himself for it. Family was family, and he should never have allowed Tauriel to come before his love for his brother, not when Fíli had been there for him his whole life.

“I hope they know what they’re doing.” Thorin murmured, more to himself than anyone else.

Kíli shot his uncle a glare before turning his attention back to the screen, praying to anyone who would listen that he would get his brother back. Despite the severity of the situation he couldn’t help but be impressed with the way the two worked together, they were completely in sync; they knew what the other was going to do as though they had been drifting together for years. Like he and Fíli. Kíli swallowed back the bile that surged to his mouth when the next lot of audio rang through the control room.

_“We can’t pierce the hide back here. You boys having any luck?”_

_“We’ve got the same problem here.”_

_“Alright I’m going to activate the canon, see if I can’t blast some shit outta this thing!”_

The whole room watched in horror as things quickly spiralled out of control, and Kíli leapt for the microphone the moment the screens informed them of Bofur drop out of drift.

“Bofur! You need to focus! Re-join the drift!” Kíli yelled, listening in horror as his brother commanded the opposite.

_“Bofur? BOFUR! Shit! Computer, administer morphine, Fíli only. Bofur stay outta drift; don’t join back up until its safe!”_

“Gandalf?! What the hell does he mean about morphine?” Thorin asked furiously, watching desperately as his nephew prepared to attack.

“It’s a modification Fíli requested after -”

_“Argh!”_

“NO!” Kíli screamed as he watched the Kaiju’s tail stab his brother “FÍLI!”

They all looked to the vitals board where it flashed in warning where the Kaiju’s tail had struck.

_“He’s unprotected underneath. We need to aim lower.”_

_“Fíli?! Shit!”_

_“Neural handshake successful. Drift active.”_

_“I’m ok Bofur. Let’s take this bastard down.”_

Kíli watched with tears in his eyes as his brother continued to fight, listening in horror as a medic informed Gandalf Fíli’s vitals were quickly dropping.

“Bofur its Nori, can you hear me?” Nori asked quickly.

 _“I hear you Nori.”_ Bofur replied.

“Tell Fíli to reactivate his audio from command.” Nori instructed.

_“Fee, Nori needs you to switch on your audio. Fíli?”_

_“Bofur…”_ Fíli said weakly as he focused on the Kaiju and not passing out. The poison from the Kaiju’s tail was quickly eating through the morphine in his system.

 _“Shit. Computer, activate Fíli’s audio from base.”_ They heard Bofur instruct.

_“Request granted.”_

“Fíli its Nori, listen to me. That poison is moving through your veins and your vitals are dropping. I’m going to administer another dose so just hang in there.” When they saw Fíli nod Nori pressed a button and they heard Fíli sigh raggedly in relief before he turned his attention to Roaming Stallion.

“Eomer, Eowyn, Fíli’s been hurt and he’s barely hanging in there. Fíli was right, the underside seems to be the weakest point, remove the tail from the body and hopefully you can stab through that and slice upwards.” Nori instructed, completely ignoring Gandalf and the other strategists.

 _“Roger sir.”_ Eowyn replied.

They all watched with baited breath and Knifed Drawstring and Roaming Stallion worked to remove the Kaiju’s tail, and to everyone’s relief Nori’s strategy worked, Knifed Drawstring slicing the Kaiju in half when Roaming Stallion distracted it.

The Kaiju’s roars cut off and silence fell over the control room, everyone watching Fíli through the monitors.

“Bofur is he..?” Nori asked hesitantly.

 _“’m still here.”_ Fíli’s whispered voice filtered through.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief, but Kíli couldn’t look away from sight of his barely conscious brother who was barely standing.

“Roaming Stallion, assist Knifed Drawstring back to base. Fíli just hang in there.” Gandalf said, taking over from Nori.

 _“Roger sir, we’ll get them back.”_ Eomer replied.

 

* * *

 

“You hear that Fíli? We did it, so just stay awake and we’ll get you patched up ok?” Bofur said quietly.

The blond looked at him and Bofur couldn’t help the gut wrenching feeling when he saw how his friend was barely staying upright. But despite the pain Fíli nodded at him and gave him a weak smile.

“Good lad. Just one foot in front of the other, I’ll get you home.” Bofur whispered softly. “I’ll get you home.”

 

* * *

 

Kíli paced impatiently waiting for the Jaegers to return to the hold, and he wasn’t the only one. The moment Gandalf had given the orders for the medic team to go to the docking platform with a stretcher he, Thorin and Dís along with their respective partners dashed to the door leading to the platforms where the medics would bring Fíli past. He couldn’t shake the feelings of guilt and self-disgust at what he had done to his brother, what they had all done. In their line of work with the world the way it was family should never be forgotten, should never be ignored. Yet that was exactly what they’d done.

Their heads shot up the moment the hanger doors opened and they watched from above as Knifed Drawstring docked on its platform and was brought forward before the head spun and disengaged from the body.

“ _I want medics in that Jaeger the moment those doors open_.” Gandalf’s voice echoed over the speakers.

They all watched with trepidation as the head attached to the lift and shot up towards them, Thorin having to hold Kíli back from trying to get to his brother as the doors to the head opened.

“They’ll bring him past Kíli, be patient.” Thorin murmured in his nephew’s ear, and Kíli nodded absently, his gaze fixed solely on where the medics had disappeared.

The medics appeared minutes later and Kíli and Dís let out a whimper when they saw them, there were four medics surrounding the stretcher with a fifth on top, with the medics yelling reaching them before the medics themselves.

“He’s still not breathing -”

“Get those vitals up!”

“Tell the medical bay to prepare for immediate surgery!”

The small group gathered in the hallway pressed themselves against the wall as the medics came rushing past with Bofur hot on their heels. The moment Kíli saw his brother he felt his legs go out from under him, Tauriel being the only support to stop him completely collapsing on the floor. Fíli was pale and still, blood all down his chin where he had coughed it up and his head was tilted back so he could be intubated, the medic near his head pumping oxygen into the unresponsive body when the one straddling him paused her CPR.

“Fíli!” Kíli cried desperately with a hand outstretched to his brother.

The gurney disappeared round the corner and Kíli fell into his mother’s and uncle’s arms with a sob, the pair holding him tightly as tears trickled from their eyes. Seeing his brother so still and pale was like reliving his old nightmares, only this time things were far more real and his brother could offer him no words of comfort, no reassurances it was all a dream.

“Come on,” Bilbo said quietly, “let’s go to the waiting rooms.”

Thorin nodded and guided his grieving family down the path the medics had taken.

 

* * *

 

Kíli had lost track of how long they’d been there, it felt like days but according to Bilbo it had only been just over an hour. Gandalf and Nori had gone in to speak to Bofur who had been taken in with Fíli so he could be assessed, and Dwalin and Tauriel had been forced to stop the others from following them in, even though they were desperate to go in as well.

Eventually the doors opened and Gandalf stepped out, raising a hand when they all surged forwards.

“Peace my friends, you can go in and see him in a moment.” He said placatingly.

Everyone looked at Gandalf expectantly, wanting the information so they could see their injured blond.

“The doctors said you can only be in there for five minutes, he’s still critical and the first hour or so is likely to be touch and go. According to Bofur he stopped breathing immediately after they dropped out of drift so mentally he’s all there, but physically the minutes he went without breathing before the medics got to him may have caused some damage to his brain.”

Gandalf sighed and looked at them all sadly. “Like Kíli he has been exposed to Kaiju venom, however due to him putting morphine into his system before he was stabbed it has reacted… a little differently, you’ll see for yourself. But for the time being they were forced to put him into an induced coma until the effects of the venom wears off and his internal injuries heal enough where he won’t reopen them should he attempt to move.”

“Can we see him?” Dís asked quietly.

Gandalf nodded and headed back into the room with the others right on his tail.

Kíli immediately spotted Bofur and Nori sitting on the bed talking quietly before his gaze was drawn to his unconscious sibling. Kíli let out a sob and moved forwards, his hands fluttering over his brother’s body wanting contact, reassurance that he was alive but he was too afraid to touch.

“Oh Fee…” he whispered brokenly as he smoothed back the golden hair, careful of the breathing tubes that hooked him up to a life support system and all the other wires connected to him.

“I don’t see any reaction to the venom.” Bilbo said quietly from his spot next to Bofur.

The doctor who had entered the room behind them moved forwards and drew down the blanket to show Fíli’s torso, eliciting a gasp from those who had not yet seen it. Beneath the crisp white bandages and branching upwards and across his body were bright blue lines that looked almost like he’d been struck by lightning, mini trees blooming across his body, the very top of it resting over his heart whilst the ones going across curled around to his back. Despite the severity of the situation his brother was currently in Kíli couldn’t help but find them beautiful.

“You said this was a result of the morphine?” Bilbo asked the doctor fascinated, his voice cutting through the silence.

“We believe so yes, unfortunately because this is the first time we’ve seen anything like this we have to go with theories. The venom that Kíli received has only lingered in his eyes, most likely because there were no drugs in his system when he was injured however the morphine in Fíli has most likely clashed with the venom, forcing a reaction.

“Is it permanent?” Thorin asked quietly, a gentle finger tracing the blue.

“Most likely. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.” The doctor replied kindly. “He’s going to be in a lot of pain when he wakes, from the venom and the wound itself so he’s going to need a lot of help.”

“We’ve got that sorted. He’ll be coming back with us when he’s discharged.” Nori said immediately, only to have everyone but Bofur and Gandalf round on him.

“Excuse me?!”

“You have no right-”

“You aren’t taking my son anywhere-”

“Enough!” Bofur snapped furiously. He glared at his friends, secretly pleased with their reactions but not once did he let that show on his face. “For your information Nori and I have every right - no don’t you contradict me Thorin! You have all ignored Fíli since he came back, in fact he moved away from base and back in with us because he knew we’d be there for him no matter what, something which you all failed to do. He left because he believed he was unwanted, and no child should ever have to feel that way! You hurt him, every single one of you so you best start making an effort to fix the damage you’ve done or so help me you’ll never see him again!”

Kíli swallowed several times, torn between anger at Bofur threatening to take his brother away and the shock at learning how Fíli felt, how he believed he was unwanted. Kíli slid his brother’s hand into his own and leaned over to place a kiss to his forehead.

Kíli whispered to his brother softly, hoping that his brother would be able to hear him wherever he was

“Come back to me Fee. I won’t leave you behind, not again.”

**Author's Note:**

> When picturing Fili's scars I imagined them to be similar to Lichtenberg figures aka lightning tree scars. I think that for something so rare they are also quite beautiful, and them spreading bright blue across pale skin is just awesome.


End file.
